Kick Me Hard In The Ass If I…

  • Rev my engine at stop lights.
  • Wear leather pants.
  • Talk down to a child.
  • Let you sweat out your own computer problems when I know how to fix them easily.
  • Don’t listen.
  • Use advertising slogans instead of real language.
  • Won’t admit when I’m wrong.
  • Feel sorry for myself when others have it so much tougher.
  • Attempt to comb over my bald spot.
  • Receive your signals and still don’t get the message.
  • Try to play lead guitar on “Bhodisatva” while drunk.
  • Ever again say anything to hurt you.

7 Responses to “Kick Me Hard In The Ass If I…”

  1. JayneSays Says:

    Hi! I’m not sure whether this post was directed at a specific individual or everyone generally, but I’d be happy to oblige and help a brother out if the time comes : )

  2. Larry Jones Says:

    Thanks, Jayne. This is only a partial list of dumbass behaviors I want to avoid. No doubt there are many others to which I have been blind, and of which I will now be reminded.

    (Are these word verification challenges getting more complicated? This one was clsyapkd. Hard to read, too.)

  3. Steph Says:

    You missed “if I put mesmerizing rings behind my head.” :P What’s with the Rod Serling treatment, mysterioso?

  4. theresa Says:

    Are you really worried about doing these things, or are they the things that bug the crap out of you that other people do? Based on what I know of you, I can’t imagine I’d ever be tempted to aim my boot at your sweet ass.

  5. Larry Jones Says:

    Steph - The rings are meant to mesmerize you. I’m not mysterious.

    Theresa - These things don’t always bug the crap out of me when others do them. Some people wear leather pants better than others.

  6. Ron Southern Says:

    Nice of you to say.

    sighed, Another Mr. Nice Guy in Dark Apparel.

  7. Drink More Jack Says:

    Damn, can FedEx deliver an ass kicking? Do you have to get insurance on that? Hummm. Some how, I think you are always going to keep it real.

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