Kiss
I never know what the hell is going on.
I got lost in my local Big Box store (Costco) the other day, and I found myself in the pharmacy area, amid the bottles of 1,000 Exedrin Extra Strength Caplets, glucosamine and 55-gallon drums of shampoo, and I was trying to find my way out of the maze when I came upon this:
OK, even I didn’t think it was to make your lips explode, but really, how long has this been going on? My high school sweetheart had big lips, and since then I’ve had a thing for the fuller lips, not so much the look as the feel, you know? But I was completely unaware that such a product existed.
So when I got home, naturally, I googled it. Turns out, Lip Explosion does not have a monopoly. In fact, there’s a lot of competition in the non-surgical lip augmentation market. There’s CityLips, Lip Venom, Naked Kiss and Perfect Pout, to name but a few.
I learned from my research that “the most important thing you can do before bed is prepare to plump your pout.” Not sure why, since this stuff only works for a few hours. Oh, wait – is there a naughty connotation there?
I also learned that increased levels of estrogen, such as during ovulation, cause plumper lips, so there you go – all part of God’s Plan.
Now I know all I ever wanted to know about lip plumping, and more. But still, none of it explains this:
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UPDATE, MAY 4 - Warning!! Do NOT google “big lips” at work or in polite company. You have been warned.
May 4th, 2006 at 8:20 am
It’s only rock and roll, but I like it.
May 4th, 2006 at 10:17 am
Hmmmm. My gaggle of girlfriends and I like to occasionally put a “theme” on our girlz nights out. Last time it was false eyelash night. Maybe we’ll declare an Angelina Jolie night, and test drive this stuff for you.
In the name of science.
May 4th, 2006 at 10:58 am
Ron – And so do I.
Laura – Please advise us when you begin this very important scientific inquiry, as we may need to send observers.
May 4th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
Google “Big Giggle” and you’ll see me!
Very funny Larry.
May 5th, 2006 at 4:59 am
Laura, not to disuade you in any way — but I tried “City Lips” — didn’t work too well. So you may want to try another brand…
That pic of Steven Tyler is wild!
May 5th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Theresa – Leave ‘em giggling, I always say.
BlueGirl – Please don’t dissuade her. Also, did you stop after one product? Click here for an extensive list of plumpers.
May 5th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Errr, I don’t want my lips to explode. As with anything, when it’s natural, it’s great, and when it’s not (see: Lisa Rinna, Melanie Griffith), it’s horrifying. Just more crap they make you buy, yeesh. And I don’t like really full lips–they kind of scare me!
May 6th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
I’m guilty. I love the full lips (more Angelina than Melanie Griffith though!). I know this product and some of the others very well. SOME of them actually do have a cumulative effect rather than the lame ones that only plump you up until you smear it all over your morning coffee…or wherever
May 9th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Steph – I’m just amazed that there even is a product to do this. Even if there does seem to be an evolutionary reason for females to have plump lips, ya know?
ANS – You’re not alone, babe. The boys like ‘em, too.