Random Reporting and Ranting

During my blogging sabbatical, which seems to be coming to a close now, I have…

  • written and recorded a new song (details in previous post)
  • found a new bass player for my garage band
  • saved Tigger the Cat yet again from certain death (third time, give or take)
  • forced Tigger to wear the Cone of Humiliation for two weeks
  • bought and assembled the pieces of a new PA system
  • read a bunch of cheap detective stories.
  • reconnected with some musician friends from long ago
  • found out I must have two wisdom teeth pulled
  • found out my dentist wants me to make the appointment with the oral surgeon myself. This is adding insult to injury.
  • got absolutely nowhere trying to figure out Life and Death
  • started bringing my own reusable bags to the Farmer’s Market every Sunday morning
  • vowed to clean up thoroughly my spare bedroom/office/studio, and my garage (this will be an enormous project, and I haven’t started yet)
  • blah, blah, blah. It’s all about me on my blog, folks.

Instead of your wonderful blogs, I’ve been reading the web sites of the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Financial Times and Rolling Stone. The conclusion I have reached is that there is no way to find out what’s really happening in the world. I know more about Chris Brown smacking his girlfriend and John and Kate Gosselin’s impending divorce than I do about the situation on the streets of Tehran or the President’s proposals for healthcare reform and financial services reform.

A lot of people are getting divorced. That’s not news. And, if you went back and looked at the Los Angeles police blotter for that night before the Grammy’s (if there were a police blotter in LA), you’d find numerous serious domestic assaults and maybe a couple of homicides. Not to make light of it, but Chris and Rhianna’s problems don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. I haven’t figured out yet if we are being fed this crap because we demand it, or if we are being fed this crap in a concerted effort to distract us from what’s really going on.

I thought the internet was going to democratize the news, make it impossible for the power elite to hide the ball, give us all an unvarnished look at the real goings on in the halls of power, here and abroad. But what we seem to have instead is a Disney-ized version of that. Oh sure, there are cell-phone videos of every police beating in the world, and the internet sure looks like we are seeing stuff we’re “not supposed” to see, but guess who owns the internet? Verizon, AT&T, General Electric, Rupert Murdoch — you know: the same guys who own everything else. Do you really think they’d let us find out anything truly important?

I’m watching MSNBC right now, a bunch of millionaires nodding knowingly at the polls which report that Americans overwhelmingly want a public option in any new healthcare system, and casually announcing that people wouldn’t want that if they knew how much their taxes would go up. Maybe we’re that stupid. Maybe we really haven’t realized that a public option has to be paid for somehow. Or maybe the well-heeled reporters know which side their bread is buttered on, and are simply shooting down the populist proposals they know their bosses in the corner offices won’t like.

How do we find out the truth? Sorry — can’t tell you.

But I can tell you this: You can’t have “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” if you can’t go to the doctor when you’re sick. We are not “providing for the common welfare” if we are not making healthcare available to everybody. I for one don’t care if my taxes go up, although it’s not certain taht they will. I don’t care if someone else gets more benefit from a universal healthcare program than I do. I don’t want anyone in the richest nation the world has ever known to have to choose between food and medicine. Most of all, I don’t care if healthcare corporations are forced to start making healing their first priority, instead of profit-making. I believe it is unconscionable that we are a nation divided into people who have enough money to get help when they are sick, and people who don’t. Republicans, blue-dog Democrats and big-bucks lobbyists, ask yourselves: Is this what you want to be remembered for at your funerals? That you fought for the rights of corporations over sick people?

If so, may those funerals begin soon, so the rest of us can get on with life!

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I Got A Thang For You

You can’t sleep.

You lie awake for what feels like hours before you finally lose consciousness, and even then you see her in your fevered dreams. In the daytime you are distracted, nervous. She keeps slipping into your thoughts. What would it be like? you wonder. You got a thing for her. An animal thing. You want to know what it smells like, that velvet skin on the back side of her knee. You want to touch that area with your tongue, and feel her shudder.

But she gives you nothing, just sweet innuendo and sexy texts.

So you get up in the morning, drink coffee, get dressed, and get on with it.

Call me, Gwyneth. I got a great big honkin’ thang for you, baby.

And a new song:

I got a thing for you, baby.
I got a great big lovin’ thing for you, baby.
I got a thing for you, baby.
Won’t you have a thing for me?

You make me think about love when I see you walking down the street.
My heartbeat is racing, baby can you feel the heat?
You do something to me.
I want to do something to you.
Listen to me, baby, I’m trying to get a message through.

I got a thing for you baby, blah, blah, blah.

If you want me, you want to please me.
Why do you taunt me? Why do you tease me?
You make me crazy!
I only want your… I only want your…
Heart!

You lied to me, baby, when you told me that I was the one.
You were playin’ with my heart and then going out and having fun.
Make up your mind tonight!
You could make everything all right.
Aw, listen to me, baby, I’m trying to get a message to you.

I got a thing for you baby, why don’t you have a thing for me?

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Dreaming Again

I can’t seem to write anything lately.

But I have so many variations on this dream, this feeling of loss and guilt and irreconcilable longing, I thought I’d post it again, to see if it helps. As always, my heart beats only for you.

Dream Lover

Originally posted in Dreams on January 25th, 2005

Last night Linda came to me in a dream.

I was at a race track, watching the ponies. There were people around, but no big crowd. It was broad daylight, hazy sun streaming through a stand of cypress. It felt like early morning, not racing time. The horses were warming up, training. In my waking life, I don’t go to race tracks.

I turned to the woman standing with me at the chain link fence. She looked at me and it was Linda. She gave me her sweet smile, the one that always melts my heart, her dark eyes downcast shyly. She pressed her side against my side, so the only place for my arm was around her shoulder. It felt OK there.

We made small talk, but I knew she was dead. I wanted to ask her why she left. I wanted to know if anything hurt. I wanted her to forgive me for…what? I wasn’t sure, but I needed forgiveness. I wanted to hold her, take her face in my hands, kiss her eyes.

She turned her head. I heard someone say You know she can’t be here.

A pack of horses thundered by. I rode one, and saw Linda, standing at the edge of the track. She was waving and calling to me, something I couldn’t hear. I’m sure she would forgive me, if I knew how to ask, if I knew my crime, if I could talk to her again.

But I rode away, around the turn.

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