Always Learning

Lesson for this weekend:Cockroach

OK, so it turns out that if a great big cockroach manages to get into your house and you want to, you know, kill it, and you whack it with something that flexes a little, something that’s not hard and brittle, like a rolled-up newspaper, what you get is a great big dead cockroach, usually on it’s back. Then you quickly cover it with a paper towel, pick it up and throw it in the trash.

But if you step on that great big cockroach — assuming you are fast enough to get it — what you end up with is a great big, disgusting splat! and a thick puddle of white and brown goo on the floor and no one in the house can suppress their gag reflex long enough to pick it up and dispose of it but somebody has to do it and you know it’s going to be you.

Oh, and the tacky pus-like mess is also on the bottom of your shoe, and you’ve got to do somethiong about that, too.

So a word to the wise: use the rolled-up newspaper.

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13 Replies to “Always Learning”

  1. Sissy! Oh, well, though I was a pest exterminator and squashed many cockroaches, the big ones (American or Smokey Brown) always gave me the willies when I stepped on them! Or when they flew up in my face. Jeez, I’m glad I don’t do all that crazy shit anymore. Oh, I forgot; I was supposed to fucking talk nice, wasn’t I?

  2. Wait, wait wait! I always thought that you weren’t supposed to STEP on them at all, because their little, fucking EGGS could get on your shoe then, causing you to track the little beasts EVERYWHERE you go in the rest of the house!? Is that, like, an urban myth that I fell for? At my old age? Dammit. Someone enlighten me please!

  3. I wouldnl’t worry about eggs. Of course, if you didn’t STOMP hard enough, there might be a problem! (Sometimes they get up and start running again.) But I doubt it.

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