Feeling sad, edgy, melancholy tonight.
John Lennon died 30 years ago today. I don’t know why I care. I guess, for all of his superstardom, he was a regular guy, a musician, a dreamer. I can relate. All the documentaries end the same way. You hope they won’t, that it’s been a mistake, but in the end John dies a violent death every time, only 40 years old and right after coming back to his music. Our music.
So there’s that, and then there’s politics. It doesn’t matter what the current issue happens to be. For the record it’s about extending the Bush-era tax cuts, which by law would expire in a few weeks. But it doesn’t matter once you realize that the government is no longer in charge of anything. All the “debates” and arguments on both sides are simply so much posing by the elected officials. But they are owned by international corporations. I had great hope for Barack Obama to bring real change to Washington, and I’m sure he expected to do just that. But reality trumps hope.
I’ve been listening to Christmas music for a couple of weeks now. I love the season, but lately I feel as if I’m loving it from the outside. I long for peace and love, but I see war and hate. So when I hear a song like “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” it just breaks my heart. Maybe John had a deeper insight than he or any of us knew when he sang “War is over if you want it.”
We just don’t want it.
I was sitting in the college bar, with a friend whose initials were F.A.D., drinking beer, with Monday Night Football over my shoulder (we were in a booth, and I was facing away from the screen). We finished our beer quietly, and he walked me home, and we had nothing to say. That friend introduced me to flannel sheets and the Talking Heads, but he was also with me the day the music was murdered.
Narya – I can’t say I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. But I remember I got together with musician friends within hours of the murder, because it was better to be together than alone.