Kick Me Hard In The Ass If I…

  • Rev my engine at stop lights.
  • Wear leather pants.
  • Talk down to a child.
  • Let you sweat out your own computer problems when I know how to fix them easily.
  • Don’t listen.
  • Use advertising slogans instead of real language.
  • Won’t admit when I’m wrong.
  • Feel sorry for myself when others have it so much tougher.
  • Attempt to comb over my bald spot.
  • Receive your signals and still don’t get the message.
  • Try to play lead guitar on “Bhodisatva” while drunk.
  • Ever again say anything to hurt you.
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7 Replies to “Kick Me Hard In The Ass If I…”

  1. Thanks, Jayne. This is only a partial list of dumbass behaviors I want to avoid. No doubt there are many others to which I have been blind, and of which I will now be reminded.

    (Are these word verification challenges getting more complicated? This one was clsyapkd. Hard to read, too.)

  2. Are you really worried about doing these things, or are they the things that bug the crap out of you that other people do? Based on what I know of you, I can’t imagine I’d ever be tempted to aim my boot at your sweet ass.

  3. Steph – The rings are meant to mesmerize you. I’m not mysterious.

    Theresa – These things don’t always bug the crap out of me when others do them. Some people wear leather pants better than others.

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