Secrets of Getting, Er, Elected

Now that the United States is under the complete control of the right wing, I’m kind of glad we still have elections.

Attraction Secrets the Liberal Media Doesn't Want You to Know

Of course, the Republican Party seems to have figured out how to win the darn things every time, but hope springs eternal, eh? And I know this makes me a privileged, liberal, elitist, terrorist-lovin’ Volvo driver, but I think the Repubs have been using underhanded tactics to take over the country. I mean, from Karl Rove’s whispering campaign that Governor Ann Richards of Texas was an alcoholic lesbian to the theft of the White House in 2000 to the lies of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the strategy has been, well, shady, if not downright sleazy.

So to all you Democrats, liberals, progressives, socialists, communists and terrorists (just kidding – you terrorists talk among yourselves) who think that this November midterm election is going to be any different, that we have a good chance to grab a few seats in Congress and maybe even get a skinny majority in one of them; you who think The People have seen the light (or the darkness, as the case may be) and are ready to correct course at the polls; you who are smugly saying “We knew this couldn’t last,” let me remind you that Karl Rove and company are still the party in power, and I don’t use the word “power” lightly.

Rove is promising Republican insiders an “October Surprise,” some kind of staged event that might reverse the anti-Republican tide and keep the government firmly under one-party control for at least another two years, to add to the eternity it’s already been. I don’t think we’ve yet seen the lowest depths to which Karl can descend, but if I were him I’d pull out all the stops for this one. After all, it may be his swan song, since he probably won’t be involved in 2008, and no doubt he’ll want to go out a winner, which I believe is the technical term for what he’s done to the country during his career.

I hesitate to speculate on what Rove has in mind. Another attack? The capture of Osama? Given his history, I am prepared to be ambushed, and steeling myself for the worst.

So let’s not think it’s over. Let’s not stay home on election day. Let’s keep the pressure on in whatever way we can. Let’s support liberal, progressive, Democratic candidates. Let’s not concede one point, one vote, one precinct. If we lose, we lose. But let’s not quit, and let’s not get fooled again.


PS: I found the advertisement above at the site about the October Surprise. Damned the Liberal Media, trying to hide from me the secrets of scoring with those hawt Republican babes.

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4 Replies to “Secrets of Getting, Er, Elected”

  1. Karl Rove is a sleezebucket of the highest order.

    What could the surprise be? Hmmm. Gas prices have already been falling. I think Osama would be the ticket for sure. I’ve always believed they didn’t catch him on purpose anyway so he could be the scary monster they could pull out from under the bed when they needed to.

    You’ve got to be one warped soul to want to be a politician…don’t you? I mean. Think about what these guys do. Are doing. Have been doing.

    Are you going to read Frank Rich’s book, “The Greatest Story Ever Sold”? I just started it. And while it makes my blood boil (what else is new?) it’s good.

  2. Blue Girl – I wish it weren’t true, what you say about what it takes to be a politician, but it’s a corollary to Jones’ Law Number One: Bullies always win. The corollary I’m talking about is this one: The dirtiest fighter always wins. Rove is just completely at ease with being the dirtiest fighter, and he beats a lot of good people who can’t bring themselves to use the kind of tactics he so casually deploys.

    And thanks for the tip yesterday about going to a bookstore. We’re all screenwriters here in LA, so we allow books and stuff. I think there’s one around here someplace (a bookstore), and I will go find it tomorrow, and get me a copy of The New Yorker.

  3. And thanks for the tip yesterday about going to a bookstore.

    Hey, no problem. Any time you’ve got a question, need some advice, directions, recipes…anything, think of me.

    I’m here to answer all the big questions of life.


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