Grammys 2009

Live blogging.

8:00 PM PST: U2 opens the show. Kind of Elvis Costello meets Subterranean Homesick Blues. Hey! “Recorded Earlier?” All day they’ve been saying this would be live. WTF?

8:03 PM: Whitney looks very relaxed. Wow, she’s really sucking up to Clive Davis. Is Jennifer Hudson wearing a bib? At least there’s no lobster on it.

8:06 PM: The Rock tries out his standup. He’s really got great teeth.

8:08 PM: This is not fair. Justin Timberlake gets to sing with Al Geen? Fucking Mousketeer. Al, please say you’re not seriously passing the torch to this little schmoe.

8:20 PM: I’m not crazy about Coldplay, but I wouldn’t blame Chris Martin if he got up from his piano and kicked that rapper off the stage. Right in the middle of a song! How rude!

8:26 PM: Carrie Underwood hoo ha ain’t she some bad rockin’ mama? Oh wait. This is country music.

8:31 PM: Sheryl Crow has a nice tan. I hope she’s not spending too much time in that old sun over Santa Monica Boulevard.

8:39 PM: I’m having a hard time paying attention to this “show.” I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish watching. They introduced Al Green and Duffy as “two winners already tonight,” but I don’t know what they won. Did I hear that right?

8:42 PM: Kid Rock, keeping alive the legacy of Alice Cooper.

8:47 PM: They keep teasing “Taylor Swift and Mylie Cyrus sing together for the first time.” Does that mean they plan to sing together more times in the future? Should we care about this?

8:48 PM: OK, Mylie, you are way out of your league. That older woman singing with you is much more professional.

8:50 PM: Robert Plant and Allison Krause. She didn’t hug him back when they won. What’s up with that?

8:58 PM: I wonder what those earrings are made out of that Jennifer Hudson is wearing? They seem like they would hurt. She did seem to be crying a little at the end there.

9:01 PM: Seems like a lot of commercial breaks. CBS must think a lot of people will watch this mess. I wonder why?

9:02 PM: OK, good spot about Guitar Hero, with the hot blonde doing a Tom Cruise to the old Seger song. But they blew it. She should have been somebody’s mom, and the family should have appeared at the end of the spot, looking at her like she was crazy for rockin’ so hard all by herself like that. That would have made me go out and buy whatever that thing is they’re selling.

9:07 PM: The Jonas Brothers have a new keyboard player. It’s Stevie Wonder! Bet he wouldn’t have passed their audition. Not up to their standards. What a bitter old man I have become!

9:12 PM: OMG! Blink 182 is back together! Music is saved! But the guy with the broken arm shouldn’t have had to open the envelope. That’s just cruel.

9:20 PM: Katie Perry. She’s cute, but you can tell when an act has no real content or substance by the HUGE production surrounding it. Remember Ricky Martin on the Grammy’s ten years ago? What spectacle! The costumes! The dancers! The percussionists! The brass section! The vacuousness!

9:25 PM: Kanye West. Silver lame jacket. Still complaining about not winning Best New Artist. Ooh, he is so outspoken and controversial! Whoever won it that year ought to just give it to him, so he’ll shut up.

9:29 PM: It kind of spoils the “live show” illusion when they show clips of upcoming performances.

9:40 PM: Record of the Year. Allison gave Robert a little pat on the arm this time. He gets back at her by not letting her speak.

9:42 PM: More commercials. I’m getting sleepy. Apparently they think McCartney is enough of a draw to keep us watching to the end. I have to clean the cat litter box. Hope I don’t miss the finale.

9:49 PM: Highlight of the night has got to be M.I.A. nine months preggers in a polka-dot bikini performing with the “rap pack.” She’s due TODAY, so we might have had an even better show than we did. What a trooper. Hope the baby isn’t injured.

9:54 PM: Macca kicks ass. He can still hit the high note in “I Saw Her Standing There,” and sing lead while playing eight to the bar on the bass.

10:12 PM: Hey, wait a minute. This thing is still on? I thought it was over at ten o’clock! Holy shit, that Adele has a powerful voice, and she belts it out seemingly with no effort. She’ll be around for a long time, i predict. Not like that Katie Perry or Ricky Martin.

10:18 PM: Radiohead with the USC marching band. Weird, but effective. Gwyneth — call me.

10:56 PM: I guess I’m too old for this. The only part of the show that moved me in the past half hour was the list of dead people. Somebody please leave a comment here about what a great show this was, and how exciting the current crop of new musicians and singers is, so I will know once and for all that I’m totally out of it. Otherwise, it seems to me that we are in a music recession, as well as an economic one.

I’m going to bed. Let me know how it ends.

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13 Replies to “Grammys 2009”

  1. Yo. I didn’t realize they were on last night. They were talking about the grammys on the radio (OK, NPR) this morning, and I asked, “Are they coming up?” And G. replied, “I think they were last night, or maybe the night before.”

    You remain infinitely hipper than I.

  2. I was so excited to hear Grammy was going to be on TV. When I turned on the program it was a bunch of people attempting music and not my grandmother.

    Nah, didn’t bother, then again I’ve never watched a Grammy show nor do I listen to the kind of music the show represents.

  3. Gwyneth — call me.


    Larry, you can have Gwyneth cuz then I get Chris Martin. Did you see him interviewed on 60 Minutes last night? If you did, I’m sure you didn’t feel the same way I did, which was, YOWZA! I LOVE YOUR ADORABLE TALENTED FACE! RUN AWAY WITH ME. NOW!

    You know, I’ve boycotted the Grammy’s my entire life. But, ended up watching them last night for whatever reason (too lazy to find the remote). And although there were many, many cringe-worth moments, all in all, I thought the show was pretty darn good. I know it’s not *hip* to say that, but I’m over trying to be *hip.* lol

    Also noticed how Sir Paul hit his notes. Good on him.

    Loved the song Robert Plant and Allison Kraus did together. Very Roy Orbisonish, I thought. Heavy vibe. I dug it. Loved how Robert Plant said something at the end, like…”We used to call this sort of thing ‘Selling Out,’ but actually it’s a fine way to spend a Sunday evening.”

    I don’t know. I got a kick out of it. People playing music, loving to play music, loving to sing, etc.

    There are worse things in this stinkin’ world.

  4. BG – Actually, I did see that interview with Martin (Chris, not Ricky). I watched it because I wanted to see what makes Gwyneth want to have his babies, and all that that entails. He’s cute, I admit, in a vacuous, blond kind of way. If I were a girl I would definitely give him a tumble, especially since he’s a millionaire and he looks pretty malleable. But if I were Gwyneth I’d be looking for someone darker and more obscure and capable of having a conversation. Like Larry Jones.

    Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland sings OK, but she displays the full package of stereotypical country music affectations, and I’ve heard it too many times by too many blonde windshield cowgirls. It doesn’t ring true anymore. And I love me the cowgirls — Patsy Cline can still tear my heart out. But right at the end of that duet with Jennifer and Adele, Adele sang a phrase that just blew me away, and she did it without any seeming effort, and even figuratively brushed Jennifer away with a little wave of her hand. She has magic, I tell you.

    Finally, “I got a kick out of it. People playing music, loving to play music, loving to sing, etc. There are worse things in this stinkin’ world.” John Mayer seemed to be saying that as he accepted the award for Best Male Pop Vocal: “I love making music, and I hope you do, too.”

    It was a pretty good way to spend a Sunday evening, after all.

    kStyle and Stankus – Sorry you missed the party.

  5. Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland sings OK, but she displays the full package of stereotypical country music affectations

    Yes she does and it’s a bit too much for me. But, she’s got *it* in her. Very powerful. Not quite my bag, though. Plus, that song she sang makes me feel uncomfortable.

    “Just dump the jerk and stop wasting your time!”

    I don’t like John Mayer anymore. He makes fun of the girls he dates on his blog. Or so I’ve read while waiting to check out at the grocery store.

  6. BG – I don’t know about his blog. In any case, he has shut it down. I like his music, but whatever: You keep working on Chris Martin. If you get to have your way with him, it will work to my benefit as well.

  7. kStyle – Right you are, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And maybe The Academy (whoever they are) considers that kind of thing in their voting. By that standard, The Village People were totally cheated.

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