On this first day of the year 2010, there is a half-heartedness in the air.
The happy-new-years are spoken without any force. I don’t know anybody who really believes it will be a happy year. I don’t look anyone in the eye and say the words. I want to, but I can’t.
I’m afraid. Afraid that our wars have morphed into The War, one big, mindless, prideful morass of murder and greed, and that it will never end. Afraid that our planet will not much longer be able to defend herself against the thoughtless onslaught of her selfish children. Afraid that our leaders have all made deals with the devil.
I watched the revelers in Times Square on television. At nine o’clock my time it was midnight there, and the people, penned into little enclosures along the sidewalks, swayed as if to dance, kissed each other ferociously and sang along with the disembodied voice of Frank Sinatra. It was all about the glittery ball and the noise and the chaos. At twenty past twelve the ball was switched off, the people were gone, the cleanup crews were starting to collect the trash that was left.
On CNN’s “celebration” coverage, Kathy Griffin was working over the earnest dullard Anderson Cooper, jabbing him relentlessly with non sequiters. She was trying to be funny, and he was trying to be eloquent, and neither were succeeding. At one point she interrupted him with “Do you have a safe word? Because you’re going to need one.”
If 2009 has been any indication, this year I think we’re all going to need one.
“I don’t know anybody who really believes it will be a happy year.”
I believe it. At least for me personally. I’m hoping it’s a happy new year — you know, and the entire first decade — ha! — for others, too. Including you, Larry Jones.
For me there are two worlds: The tiny spot on which I exist and the other place, the place of a zillion people with an infinite array of actions.
I cannot do a thing with the second location … I have no influence, no power and no push.
But I can do something with my tiny spot. That is where I make things, live life and find passion and love.
Blue Girl – May your year be happy. My hope is broken.
Bill – I live in the world. I can’t ignore what’s happening, even as I can’t do anything about it.
I have a safe word, Larry. It’s “hope.” I can’t help it. Even as jaded and disappointed I am, I still have that.
And I’m wishing you a happy 2010 anyway. ;o)