A few thoughts, that I may keep in touch with everybody:
- Valerie Plame — an articulate, telegenic celebrity spy, now unemployed. The networks must be drooling over the prospect of signing her up. How long before she has her own TV show, or is at least a regular commentator somewhere?
- Halliburton is moving to Dubai! Where do you think Dick Cheney will be when the subpoenas start to fly?
- Alberto Gonzalez. Hey, his initials are A.G., just like in Attorney General! President Bush is saying he fully supports his boy, so maybe it also stands for Almost Gone.
- Note to Presidential Primary voters across the nation: Just send your choices to us here in California, as we will now be selecting your candidates. Also, if it gets a little quiet in your state for the next 20 months, it’s because all the candidates are here.
- This was the warmest winter on record, since they started keeping records in 1880, but there’s really nothing to worry about at this time.
- Who thought it would be a good idea to fire all the U.S. Attorneys at the same time? The other day White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said it was Harriet Miers, but now he says “At this juncture, people have hazy memories.” I take this to mean that at some later juncture, after they’ve had a sitdown and worked out what they’re all going to say, their memories will become clear.
- I tried to find a bass player on Craig’s List recently, and I’ve decided that I will be one in my next life. Those guys are rare! They must be working all the time, and naming their own price, too.
- I’ve entered into a suicide pact with a woman at work. Don’t be upset — it will probably prolong my life. Here’s the deal: If either one of us becomes so fed up with the job that we feel we simply can’t go on another day, that person has to kill the other one first. This means no suicide for us, as neither of us would ever shoot the other. At least I don’t think so.
- Today in my glorious hometown we had exactly 12 hours of daylight, and tonight we’ll have exactly 12 hours of darkness.Â It doesn’t get any more symmetrical than that, my friends.
As always, my love knows no bounds.