Losing Sheep

I feel like I’ve lived too long.

Like a guy who has made a deal with the devil. I get to live as long as I want. Heh, heh — only eventually I discover what Satan knew all along: that immortality is hell, and after a few hundred years I’ll be begging to end it.

I started this blog just a couple of years ago, so you’d think I’d have some reasonable expectation that my magical, invisible, virtual “friends” that I made in the early going would still be with me. And some of them are. I won’t list them — you know who you are, and you are the wind beneath my wings.Lost Lambs

But my mind keeps wandering to the friends I’ve lost. Some have simply vanished, leaving no way to reach them or find out how they are. Some have made announcements, ranging from “I’ve been discovered at work and I have to shut down” to “I have nothing more to say,” to “I’ve got a book deal, so long, suckers!” Some have deleted their blogs and pornographers have taken their blog names and planted pages of nasty links where once were the writings and art of people I sort of knew.

Each time one of them departs I get that “deal-with-the-devil” feeling: I seem to be going on and on, even if a bit sporadically lately, but my bloggin’ buddies are departing the blogosphere, leaving me behind, feeling lonely and a little desperate. In self-defense I become more withdrawn. After all, why make friends if you know they are going to leave you? This is a little weird and pathetic of me, I know, so I’m trying to buck up.

In the meantime, I hope all you lost sheep are OK.

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18 Replies to “Losing Sheep”

  1. The next blog-friend you make might be as spectacular as me … perhaps even better. And as much of a pain in the neck as I am sometimes, you wouldn’t want to miss out on someone like that would you?

    I love you to death, Larry … maybe even longer.

  2. Hey, Larry. I totally know the feeling. I’ve had three great “blogging friends” who’ve left for one reason or another. It was like a swift kick — quick inhale!

    How can they leave?!

    So sad.

    I wish someone would write a book about this online world/relationship thing that’s going on. It’s so wonderful and weird at the same time. It almost feels worse when online buddies go away. You know? Maybe not. I don’t know. I do know that when the “friends” I made just went away one day — it was really hard.


    p.s. My little “break” is even hard! I wish someone would pay me to blog. That would be so great!

  3. Ok. You’re right. Cuz if someone was paying us for blogging, they’d get all control freak on us: “I’d rather you write about this or that. Why aren’t you doing it this way? I’d rather you do it this way.” Etc. And then it would be a job, I guess.

    But, why do we have to be so realistic about it? If I’m going to dream about it, then I want someone to pay me a boatload of money, and then leave me alone to do what I want!

    I mean, yeesh…Dick Cheney get that! Why can’t I?

  4. My “payment” is simply the joy and satisfaction of using the language (I’m also high on life).

    Isn’t that special.

    Remember The Church Lady? Huh? Do ya?


  5. Well, I won’t pay you to not blog, or to blog, either! I just shamelessly expect you to still be there, forever and ever. You ARE going to live forever, aren’t you?

  6. Glue Birl – I’m tight with the church lady. We’ve had sex. It was uplifting, and yes, special. Hey – what song do you want to record for the triumphant return from your little “break”? Let’s get started on that, shall we?

    Ron – To my consternation, it does appear that I am going to live forever. I’m already about 30 years past the natural limit, with no end in sight.

  7. I’ve been blogging for about 2 1/2 years and when I think back to some of my early “blogging friends,” I do get sad and wonder where they are and what they’re doing. However, I have a handful I’ve had from the beginning and many, many new friends along the way who are still with me. Just like in real life, sometimes friends leave but they are always replaced (replaced isn’t the right word) with more new friends who are special in their own unique ways. (Can you tell I’m in a disgustingly happy mood this morning?)

  8. Thanks for visiting my blog. I’ve also lost many friends. I’ve blogged a few years and moved a few times as well. It is strange how one gets atached to the spirit behind another avatar.

  9. My bastard shadow’s been singing to me a lot lately, Larry. I just remembered to enjoy the light again though, so I’m glad yer still hangin’ in the ‘sphere!

    There’s a few of you cats an’ dawgs and dudettes too and to be sure who have made this 2 years trip the best one in a long while.

    Blog it bro.

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