The Penguin-Ice Cream Joke

Because sometimes, you just need to laugh.


I don’t remember where I first heard this joke. I think my brother told it to me. It was long and convoluted, and when I started telling it, it kept getting longer and convoluteder. I think this was partly because the setup has to be just right for the punchline to work, and partly because I knew I was going to crack up before I got to the end and be unable to utter the final words, so I was always playing for more time, trying to choke back the guffaws. In fact, if you’re like me, when you repeat this, you will probably find yourself falling apart on the next-to-last line of the joke, the one that sets up the payoff, because it’s funny in itself, and because you will not be able to not think of the next line.

It comes off way better when you hear it rather than when you read it – it’s that kind of a joke – so, because I spare no effort for you, the Precious Few who read this blog, I have a video presentation, for your chuckling pleasure. The guys in the video get right to the point because, unlike me, they’re joke-telling professionals.
Now without further ado, I give you…

…The Penguin-Ice Cream Joke
Have a great, fun, laughing weekend!

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16 Replies to “The Penguin-Ice Cream Joke”

  1. Ha. I’d heard that joke before, but I forgot it, as I do all jokes, so it was funny all over again. It reminds me of the snowblower joke. I don’t remember it either though, sorry.

  2. Ha HAAA! lol! The “Is this goin’ somewhere?” got me, too.

    I remember there was Toro Lawn products shop where I lived growing up. They always changed their sign (like a gas station or church sign) for the season and my favorite was, one autum, they put up a Snow Man with a big grin on his face and the words “Don’t shovel. Blow your snow!


  3. Ron – You’re here to show the love, of course.

    Blue Girl – Yes, the chimps are natural comics.

    kStyle – I read your penguin joke, and it cracked me up.

    GFI – Just like Homer and Melville!

    Lori – You’re gonna be in trouble if you don’t remember that joke. I have to hear it now.

    kStyle (again) – What this means, other readers, is that now kStyle’s sock puppet bunny actually links back to her site. So go read the other penguin joke there.

    Michael Bains – Welcome! I don’t know where you grew up, but in my hometown, the snowman would have gotten artstically modified in short order.

  4. Yes to DrinkJack!

    And then we can ALL do the joke.

    And then we can create our own version of “The Aristocrats” — a movie so funny, a movie that made me laugh so hard, that I thought I was going to pass out for being unable to breathe in.

    Yet a few minutes later, one telling of the famous joke was so disgusting I thought I was going to throw up. My kind of movie!

    In fact, one can find dozens of versions of the penguin joke through Google, even without knowing much about the joke itself.

    Try penguin joke “ice cream,” which is what I did to get many versions.

    And Larry is right: The longer versions are better.

    I liked the one about the penguin’s car breaking down in Arizona in August and how he had to walk many blocks to the ice-cream store because no one would give him a ride, being racist Arizona bigots and all. There were all kinds of details about the penguin’s sad suffering and his lack of funds, and then there were glorious details about his deep enjoyment of the vanilla ice cream and his stoic, dignified demeanor as he ate the ice cream at the counter, without the use of hands and without help from kind bystanders sympathetic to a penguin in an Arizona summer.

    So you had all this build-up — based on the penguin’s disagreeable experiences in this shitty Arizona town — to the ultimate insult from the mechanic: that he (the penguin) is a _________________ [insert your favorite bad word for a male person of the homosexual persuasion].

  5. Perfect! I’m always amazed at how well they can make chimps look like they’re actually saying something. Remember Lancelot Link (and the Evolution Revolution)? One of my favorite shows as a kid.

    btw, thanks for stopping by. Nice to meet you too, I’ll be back!

  6. To all who think it would be amusing to see a video of me telling this joke: I don’t think it would be so amusing. Doesn’t mean I haven’t added it to my “To Do When I Have A Lot More Time” list.

    Jeff – Welcome. Hope you stay in touch.

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