Posted on by Larry Jones

THIS is Entertainment!

Warning: Distasteful subject ahead.

So the E! channel is going to hire actors to recreate actual scenes from the Trial of Michael Jackson. The scenes will be taken from court transcripts. They’ve got a Michael Jackson impersonator and people to play the judge, lawyers, etc., and they have a set designed to look just like the actual courtroom in Santa Maria. I don’t know if they’re planning to recreate the jury, or what the ethics of that would be. Ha – did I say “ethics?”

They have to do this because

  1. There is nothing more important happening in the entire universe for the next six months than this child molestation trial, and
  2. Cameras are not allowed in the courtroom.

But now that we’ve been conditioned for the past couple of years to accept “reality TV” as an acceptable “art” form (I’m sorry, I can’t stop using quotation marks in this post), who needs cameras in the courtroom? A reenactment could be better than the real thing.

Like, if the transcript indicates that the accused stood and said “Not guilty, Your Honor,” the reenactment could depict maybe a spin move and a hand to the crotch. Who’s to say it didn’t happen that way? Heck, even if somebody did say it didn’t happen that way, who cares? This could open up a whole new world of television. I’d like to see a reenactment of Bush’s closed door meeting with Putin. Does he call him Vladimir to his face? Or how about the Pope arguing in private with his doctors about the morality of pulling the plug on someone in a permanent vegetative state?

But can E! find actors who can memorize a script that fast? I mean, if they’re going to be timely about this, they are going to have to show courtroom drama on the day it happens. This means they’ll have to get those transcripts promptly when court adjourns, which probably means buttering up a court reporter at the very least, up to and including bribery, which I think is legal in this type of case. Then they have to convert them to some sort of working script, which will involve one or two rewrites (remember, this will be based on court transcripts. There may be some “artistic” license taken.) and finally the actors will have to shoot the show. They can’t be reading or stumbling over lines, and the “news” orientation will make it mandatory that things get done quickly, or at least before the next days’ proceedings begin. This could be the career challenge of a lifetime for them.

I don’t know if Jackson did anything criminal or immoral. I hope not. But I can’t help wondering if the Michael Jackson of today would molest that cute little Michael of 1970. Tune in to “witness” every exciting development.

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11 Replies to “THIS is Entertainment!”

  1. Michael Jackson is one proof of how much money can buy in America. Not only is there little need to maintain the appearance of propriety, there is also little need to maintain propriety.

    I think it’s just as “fair” for me to convict him in my own mind for the mere appearance of impropriety as it is for Jackson’s fan to vindicate him just because he’s a big star and (evidently) the could-be dream-lover of their lifetime.

    Good thing that there’s some semblance of a legal system in this country, eh, or the issue would be decided by a shootout in the streets between bad-tempered people like me and the Jackson fans. Have the all-day news channels yet kicked the pope’s hospital door in and clamored to know his view of this important matter? They will.

  2. i wanted to write something clever about the idea of this re-enactment…but all i can think is: god god god…
    not is a desperate way.
    no prayer here.
    just a sort of fatigue thing.
    (hey, next post, send us some unplifting news, would you?)

  3. Actually, His Holiness has said for years that you can’t pull the plug, withhold food, or anything else. So we may be in for a few years of Pope Parsnip I before this is over.

  4. The more I watch the E! station, the less surprised I would be if it were powered by the souls of orphans. That station has absolutely zero class and/or morals….

    …yet if there is a celebrity drug story on, I’m somehow glued..

  5. Brent – Oh, yeah. Like Robert Downey Jr. meets Drew Barrymore and they both get real drunk, snort the lines on Pacific Coast Highway and fall asleep on a park bench naked. I right there, man.

    jericmiller – I, too wanted to write something clever about this, and thanks for not pointing out that I didn’t. Cheery topics on the way, though.

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